Last day and next morning photos
I think it is my Estonian - European heritage, but I snapped a lot of photos of him that last day. I remember posing with my whole family in front of my mother's coffin at the funeral home, to send the picture to the relatives in the Old Country. Some things are just in the blood, that's my only explanation.
I took this picture of me with Shaman on Thursday while we were watching the hours tick by. He was pretty peaceful, just lying in his favourite spot on the couch. I call this a face kiss.
Here is Shaman's little buddy Caden, who also watched over his friend on that last day. Shaman would sleep, but if I moved around, he would lift his head and keep an eye on me. I kept letting him know I was there so he wouldn't worry. 
Caden waits every night for me to come to bed, and often sleeps with his head on my arm, which is exactly what Thorn used to do! Even though Shaman was gone, the routines were followed, which brings a lot of comfort.
And the next morning - the gang was up to their regular "I have a toy! I have a GLOVE!" routine...
...see how River makes sure to catch my eye, below, with a glove at her feet in her special cave under the table...
But for the past two days I keep forgetting how many dogs I have and keep making more dinner than I need for them!
I took this picture of me with Shaman on Thursday while we were watching the hours tick by. He was pretty peaceful, just lying in his favourite spot on the couch. I call this a face kiss.Our last photo together. I got very philosophical while sitting with Shaman. There is something about honouring a good death and rituals at this time that many people deny or fear in today's culture where we want everything to be neat and tidy and fast. I feel that Shaman was working really hard that day. I kept hugging him and saying "I know, it's hard." Death is hard. The body wants to live, and the heart wants to keep beating. When I held him at the vet's office, I could sense that moment when the "essence" that was Shaman had left his body. The body was still there, but everything that was SHAMAN, a unique and special dog, was gone. It really makes you think.
I am so greedy and selfish though, I keep wishing I could have ONE more day, just one more. It is a good reminder that all life is impermanent and we must treasure our loved ones, dogs and people, when we have them - every day.
Here is Shaman's little buddy Caden, who also watched over his friend on that last day. Shaman would sleep, but if I moved around, he would lift his head and keep an eye on me. I kept letting him know I was there so he wouldn't worry. That night was very weird in that it was so "normal." I thought - maybe Jet would appreciate the big crate I had set up for Shaman by the French Doors, so put her little dog beds in it. Jet thought I was losing my marbles. She carried her red bed (very torn up, she's had it since she was a puppy) back to her own big crate. When she went back for the green bed, I had my camera ready. She has her own mind, that girl! It sure makes it easier to have more than one dog, because life goes on and they make us laugh and we have to look after them and carry on.
And the next morning - the gang was up to their regular "I have a toy! I have a GLOVE!" routine...But for the past two days I keep forgetting how many dogs I have and keep making more dinner than I need for them!
This is the last photo I took of Shaman. He was watching me get ready to go, and I was telling him we were going for a car ride! It was hard, but I saved all of my sobbing for later that evening and was strong for him all day just like he had been strong for me through my tough times in the past couple of years. I just wanted him to have a peaceful day, and we did. I had to carry him to the car, and from the car, into the vet. THAT was hard, to see him so helpless.
A friend wrote to me yesterday that she thinks he lasted this long so he could make this transition with me, our last journey together. Thanks little buddy.
Category Article Commentary, Shaman
